Wednesday 13 May 2009
god, and i thought i had a chance.
whenever something good i think is going to happen,
there is always someone there to ruin it.
i really thought i had a chance to gain
but when i saw you and her
everything crumpled down again.
why does life have to be so difficult?
geez,i cant believe she could do this to me.
i told her, but still she did it.
i am tired of being alone.
all i ever ask is you, i cant even get that.
how unfair.
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"I am desperate for your voice,
I was born to tell you 'I love you'" --- Your call; Secondhand Serenade
geez,i cant believe she could do this to me.
i told her, but still she did it.
i am tired of being alone.
all i ever ask is you, i cant even get that.
how unfair.
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"I am desperate for your voice,
I was born to tell you 'I love you'" --- Your call; Secondhand Serenade
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
Friday 8 May 2009
its 3:15 AM on Friday.
i cant fall asleep, as always.
i have a sleeping disorder, its so annoying. seriuously.
i am waiting for this person to come online cause i told that person to, but i guess that person fell asleep):
went out to chong han's birthday party yesterday. was really fun. we went on the trampoline again.
jimmy, nina, chong han, alex and i were there.
alex ate this subway burger that when the guy was done, he couldnt even close it. nina ate half of it.
sometimes subway burgers just make me want to puke. it just looks..*shudders*
that fucking bitch, KT, showed me the middle finger today from her bus window, when i was talking to nina.
fucking fuckfaced motherfucking bitch.
she's threating me saying that she would post our little conversation on her blog.
omg i am so scared. NOT.
it will be good, actually. if KT posts it.
then the almost all the people who would see it, would know what a insecure bitch she is.
i just wish she just disspears in a black hole, and never comes back.
or that happen to me. anything.
she was the one who started being a bitch about it, thats why i called her one.
and now she is blaming me. i am used to getting blamed for stuff.
but its that ITS NOT TRUE. so why should just sit here and do nothing about it? i cant.
i just wish...geez. i cant even wish right now.
if i wish KT away, then a certain someone wouldnt be too happy.
god, life is so hard its unfair.
other people have it so easy. seriously.
they just ask someone out, and poof.
the next thing you know, they are holding hands at school.
that person still hasnt come on. i wonder if that person slept through the alarm.
how can someone not hear their alarm ringing?
its acceptable if the thing where the alarm is set is only vibrating, no sound.
i will wait till 3:55 AM, if that person still doesnt come on, i dont care anymore.
i think i will just watch a movie.
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[i have nothing to write except, i love you.]
Friday, May 08, 2009
Thursday 7 May 2009
i want my true love. and i want it fast. i want him.
my heart feels like a million tons. when i cry, it becomes as light as a feather.
my heart feels like a million tons. when i cry, it becomes as light as a feather.
but when i see you, i have to start all over again.
i want you to say that you love me, dont want your face to be just a memory.
i think; all about him.
all the books i read, they make it look so easy. like it is just in your reach.
but, oh, well this is real life. it isnt that easy, after all.
you have to try, get hurt, be broken; many times, to get what you want.
what have i done to deserve this misery? all i ever wanted was him, only.
everyone else has it so easy, not me. ever.
i am living in a hard life, nothing is there to change it.
it will be like it is, always.
i am fed up; of life, of him not being next to me always when i need him.
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"You won't understand, how much it hurts to let you go."--- Too close for comfort, Mcfly.
Thursday, May 07, 2009
Wednesday 6 May 2009
i have made the hardest decission of my life.
i have decided to give up, i cant take this hurt anymore.
if you are happy with her, then be with her.
i dont want you to suffer the pain i am going through.
i know how it feels, not pleasent.
no one will ever understand how much of a sacrifice this is to me.
there is nothing in the world that will make this pain go away.
i will run, cry and wish this is will never happen again.
just need sometime alone to figure myself out.
hope to push him away from my mind, but can't.
he is there, and wont move.
like he is to her.
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no one understands.
Wednesday, May 06, 2009
Tuesday 5 May 2009
i serious feel like i might faint any second now.feel so sick.
what i wrote the yesterday, about giving up, i dont think its working.
it has become more harder, actually. i dont think i can do this.
but its becoming harder every time i see him with her.
i dont think he even likes me, even as a friend.
i just want to be his close friend, if thats the only thing i can be to him.
BT is such a fucking slut. i cant believe she could go so low for a boyfriend.
i mean seriously, cant she find anyone her own age?
i cant take to see Diana so sad. even though she wont show it.
i know she is hurting inside, and to tell the truth, i feel the same way.
now we both are the same. god why cant BT just go get a life?
like she even has one. all her friends, to speak the truth, are bitches.
specially that one bitch. she said i was the first person to call her a bitch.
i am so honored, really i am.
i really hope he doesn't hate me.
i dont know why, i feel like i am annoyed by everyone else, except Diana, off course.
she is like my sister. seriously, so many people think we both look alike.
but we are so different; good different.
i really hope i would have stayed at home today.
i am dead tired right now. geez.
i want to sleeeep. ZzzzZ.
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"i feel so untouched, and i want you so much" --Untouched, The Veronicas.
Tuesday, May 05, 2009
Sunday 3 May 2009
my life has been officially ruined.
parents grounded me for dont know long. suckssss.
sometimes, i really hope that they would just vanish.
i need a new book! i am so bored. love reading.
i think i am going to re-read just listen. its a really nice book, though.
yay! tomorrow finally school! cant wait to get out of this freaking house.
i love wearing the formal uniform, dont know why other people hate it so much.
it look so nice compared to the other school uniforms we have.
I just need someone to help me get my mind of off him, just for a while.
Sunday, May 03, 2009
Thursday 30 April 2009
god, i hate my life.
went out with nina, chong han and jimmy.
was really fun but the thing that happened during it.
goddddd.
was having such a good time, had to ruin it all.
the only thing i want right now is,
for someone to hold me tightly and say,"dont worry, everything is going to be fine."
i just want that. someone to care for me.
I stood there with my eyes closed, enjoying the warmth I could feel through his sweater
Wishing, I never had to let go.
I cant stand another night on my own. I need you and no one else.
I want you to be the one holding my hand and never letting go.
I want you to be the one who says,"it'll be okay, dont be sad." All the time.
Everyone else has a hand to hold, why not me?
i love you.
Thursday, April 30, 2009